I thought of giving this post an innovative title, something like "Close Encounters of the Gay Kind" or "The Gaytrix", but realized that such a title, though dramatic, would actually be counterproductive. This post, which is a report of my first interaction with GayBombay, is mainly meant to be for newcomers who are perhaps at the cusp of initiating their first interaction with the members of GB. Hence I've given it a bland and clichéd title -
'My First GB Meet', merely so that it should be easy to pick out from a multitude of posts by someone who is looking specifically for an account of what one could expect from a first GB meeting.
At the Feb 1st (2004) meet, I reached JATC at about 5:30 and managed to locate the black
cap bearer and some other guys already there. We left for Vikram D's place (he lives a short distance away) and there I had the pleasure of meeting Alok, Sunil, Zo, Sanjay and others (I apologize that my progressive Alzheimer's prevents me from mentioning the names of each and every person present.) The group was quite an eclectic one, with occupations
and interests spanning a large spectrum. There were some who were still in the closet, some who were out of it, and one who came out to his sister when she was twelve! The
atmosphere was extremely congenial, the house was chock full of books, and I, who had
never before had any kind of interaction with an `organized' communion of gays, felt quite at
ease here.
Since the content of the meeting and the issues discussed there are bound to be different from meet to meet, I won't really focus on them, but will talk instead of the part that I expect is a staple component of each GB get-together. Newcomers were asked to speak about themselves, about their lives and experiences and about anything else they might wish to state. It felt nice to share a part of myself with people who might have gone through similar situations themselves and had probably battled the same demons, in some form or the other, in their own lives. It felt strangely liberating to narrate a short life-history that comprised of the very facts that I had made a habit of otherwise leaving out.
As a 23 year old who's never had much 'gay contact' before, I had no idea what to expect from a meet of this sort. Since all my social interactions in the past have been in situations where I have been surrounded by straight people and where I have myself pretended to be straight, I feared that a
'gay meet' would be beyond my comfort level. I say this merely to highlight the importance of slow adjustment and acclimatization. The first step must be in familiar
waters and not in the form of a 'culture shock', a fact that GB is quite acquainted with, as is evident by that fact that they discourage drag at GB meets. Later steps can be larger and bolder, but I firmly believe that GB is
doing a great job by recognizing the importance of taking it one step at a time. I think the primary reason why I was able to feel comfortable with GB almost instantaneously was that this meet was a place where issues concerning various aspects of homosexuality were being discussed in an environment that was otherwise not very different from the usual friends-circle atmosphere I was accustomed to. Here were people who had interesting viewpoints to put forth, who had great senses of humour, who were genuinely interested in hearing what the other person had to say - in other words, it was a gathering of friends more than anything else.
To anyone who has been wondering whether he should take the plunge and go to a GB meet or not, I would give a wholehearted green signal. The guys at GB are wonderful people. They are willing to go to great lengths to put you at ease - they even have a Neighbourhood Watch, details of which can be found on the webpage. I had my moments of anxiety before I went for the meet, but after having attended it, I felt nothing other than complete satisfaction with my decision. It was an extremely positive experience.
I know there are thousands (probably millions) of guys out there who are gay, who do not know anyone else who is gay, who do not want to run the risk of humiliation and exposure by making the first move on someone who they
'think' is gay, and who are depressed because they are lonely. I know this because I have been part of that multitude. Companionship is a basic human need, and this need will not be satisfied until you take a first step. In my opinion, GayBombay is a good first step.
by Vikram A.
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