Do you often wonder what went wrong when you did everything right with that guy? You made your intentions obvious, you looked into his eyes with *that* look, you made it known that you would think of nothing better to do on a Sunday than to lather him under a shower. And yet - nothing!

He hasn't rejected you outright. He hasn't told you that you are not his type. He even purred when you lingered longingly on his belt buckle. But he did not make any move.

I'm not overly physical. I can wait a suitable period during which I'll write a poem on his pout. I can give a courtship period its due by even remembering his birthday, his appointment with his dentist and the release date of his favourite crooner's album. I'll even listen to opera music.

But after this I begin to fret. I don't like returning home all hot and bothered and alone. I feel that without an outlet my hormones are misplacing themselves uncomfortably in my body while the cause of this disarray rests languidly on the other side of the railway tracks seemingly unconcerned.

Believe me, I've learned a few lessons along the way. One of the most important is how to handle rejection. It's become easy: he doesn't think I'm his type. I think of the number of times I have rejected someone because he was not my type and I can live with the situation.

I don't feel the need to cruise every day, every week or even every month. But, for god's sake, when I'm wearing my heart out on a panting tongue don't I deserve a roll in the hay to show that he feels the same way too? Can I fall madly in love and then discover we are not compatible in bed? NO!

Awaiting some responses from more patient and less beastly types. How important is sex in a relationship?

One has one's friends, of course, around whom one feels warm and comfortable. Friends around whom one can roam around in old frayed undies and fear no arousal. There are others with whom there is a kind of tension and a self-consciousness; they haven't yet made it to the 'friends' category since there is something unspoken hanging in the air. And yet they haven't qualified unconditionally for the 'boyfriend' category. Others qualify immediately.

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