I thought it would be disastrous, all hell would break loose.

Married ten years back, I have a beautiful daughter too.

I come from a very orthodox Gujarati vaishnav family. I am perfectly male in the appearance sense, though I enjoy cooking, housekeeping, etc. I am emotionally very sensitive unlike most guys.

For the past eight years I came to realise that I have a bisexual orientation. Maybe I was such from my childhood, but I became aware only after my marriage. My wife and I had regular and satisfying sex. But one thing ate into my mind, that whenever I saw a handsome guy I got aroused. I fantasised about having non-penetrative sex with sexy hunks like Dino Morea, John Abraham etc.I used to fight with myself that what I was thinking was amoral. 

Due to that internal fight I used to stay very upset and anxious. Sometimes due to the guilt, I used to avoid having sex with my wife. My wife used to think that I was not interested in her anymore and even contemplated divorce.

It was at that time that we decided to go on a vacation. We had a real good time together and shared many of our secrets that we did not share in the past ten years. But still I had not disclosed anything about my sexuality. I used to give subtle hints but she did'nt understand. 

Coming back from vacation, One day, she told me that I love doing things which are very feminine. I was shocked but decided that this was my opportunity to come out.

I said " I'm a woman! ". 

She gasped, "What are you talking?"

I said I meant it.

In my mind I was very nervous about her reaction. She is educated only upto highschool and doesn't even know the meaning of "gay" or "bisexual".

She was already very confused and I myself frightened as to what this would lead to... DIVORCE?

She asked again " What exactly do you mean by your being a woman?"

That was the climax. 

I said I'm bisexual, I Iike guys!!!

And you know what she said to that?

This barely high school educated, normally hypersensitive woman told me.....
So whats the big deal? I still love you!!!!!

"You stupid guy, did you think that I will stop loving you, just because of something which is not in your control" she said.
"Be at ease with your sexual choice, there is nothing wrong or abnormal about it". She was talking like a sex counsellor!
"Tell me which guy you fantasise?" she asked.
"Dino Morea" was my answer.
"Oh he's so cute, whats your fault if you like such a
handsome hunk, he's so irresistable!!" she said.


Imagine my surprise. I thought it would be disastrous, all hell would break loose............

Aseem,
Mumbai
June 2004